I've been really sick. Impending surgery-type sick. Apologies for the late post. My girlfriend and I went to a friend's for the weekend so I could be sick over there instead and eat a bunch of food and watch bad anime.
With everything that's been going on, I totally forgot about my weekly update here. As an attempt to make up for that, this post is actually a five story special edition expedition into my absolutely fucking terrible high school pornography.
Seriously. This stuff is awful. It's about Krystal Fox, which, for the uninitiated, is one of the protagonists from more recent Star Fox video games. Her debut was in a Zelda-style Gamecube title, "Star Fox Adventures", and since I was a derpy teenage virgin I found myself, for some weird reason, compelled to write five stories about her getting busy with the series' titular hero Fox McCloud.
Yup. These guys:
Yeah, really. I'm totally serious. Yes, I'm very embarrassed by this, although not for the reasons you'd expect. I'm more embarrassed by the awful quality of the writing than the fact that I used to have a major stiffy for these characters.
I mean, let's be real here. There's some much, much weirder shit on the internet. And, because this is the internet, and I'll never meet any of you, I'm going to post these stories. I know from experience that there is a very real and active fanbase built around this stupid character and the need for other derpy teenage(?) virgins to beat off to stories and pictures of her. So, to all of you weirdos, here's an awful gift from my teenage self.
All of this being said, you may notice that the title for this post implies there will be more posts. Finding these stories gave me a terrible idea - one I'm going to give a pilot run to while I'm home sick.
I'm going to break down and analyze these awful stories, critiquing them to the best of my current ability. I'm going to rip teenage-me a new asshole.
Why? Fuck, I don't know. It'll be a good laugh.
Alright. With much hesitance, here you go. Enjoy, I guess?
If you do, please don't tell me about it.
1. Moving In
It had been a couple of days since
the events at Dinosaur Planet involving Fox and his team had ended. Krystal had
agreed to join the team, and she was moving in to the Great Fox, taking what
sparse furnishings she had to her new room and trying to figure out what to do
with them. Fox was helping move things, and so far they’d moved a small
mattress into the room, and a 2-foot tall drawer, and they were both leaning
against the wall side-by-side, the mattress at a small incline to keep it from
falling down. The room was already set up as a guest room, and had everything
one would need to be comfortable, but Krystal was insistent upon keeping her
few belongings, and Fox wasn’t about to argue with her. So they stood in her
room, just inside the door, observing the room and discussing where to put her
things. Fox was in a regular t-shirt and shorts, with no shoes, and Krystal was
in another loincloth and top, similar to the one she wore on Dinosaur Planet.
